Not wanting to leave

I said goodbye (for now) to three of my classes. Last week I thought I was ready to go back home but now I don't want to leave. The only thing I miss from home is my family and friends. I could live without seeing my house, driving my car or going to do my job. None of these things are that important to me. A lot of the time it is very depressing here as there is little that we can do to change the situation. This week every Palestinian I have spoken to seems have told me about the nightmares that have been keeping them awake. I have never met people with so little hope for their future (to be fair why would they?). I will never forget being told, "If you want to lose all hope, come to Palestine" by one of the most amazing individuals I have ever met.

I think being away from here will be more depressing as I will feel even more detached from the situation. So there will be even less I can do. I have given my email address to my classes and hope that some of the students will stay in touch. I will do everything in my power to come back here next year and will be devastated if I can't make it.

On the way back from our weekly volunteers mean we stopped at the home where most of our fellow footballers live. We went to drink tea for the last time with them, despite there being no football today. It was good to have one of our halting french/english/arabic conversations with everyone still feeling included. One of the other volunteers summed up perfectly what we were all thinking. That our homes whether they been Manchester, Paris or London don't have the same sense of community. We don't know the families that live in our street. Here we say hello to everyone, we get involved with each others activities. People invite us to drink coffee and tea all the time.

This is far from paradise though. More like hell to be honest. For most, but especially the young people, there is nothing to do. There is no where for children to play properly, there is no where for young people to go. Part of the reason why we become familiar with the people we see is because they are always in the same place. Just sitting. Now wonder they want to get an education and leave if they can. The boredom must become immense.

Perhaps I have been here long enough though. Time back home might put things into a different kind of perspective. In my last class today, in which I asked the groups to name items in the home, I immediatley assumed that tank and hummer were of the IOF variety. Rather than a water tank and a mis-spelling of the word 'hammer'.