The apartment on Saturday

It was quite good to be in the apartment on Saturday when most of the other volunteers were away as it gave me time to think about the tour yesterday as well as the rest of my three weeks here. I read the Breaking the Silence booklets we had been given at the end of the tour. These contain testimonies from soldiers that have served in the Hebron area. A very grim read really but also quite surprising in many ways. I was expecting tales of abuse of Palestinians but I also found stories of settlers abusing the IDF as well. Some of the IDF soldiers clealy wanted to be as humane as possible but often the reality of a situation took over. They weren't in a position to influence every action in a given situation.

For example a platoon commander that fired over the heads of fleeing suspects to get them to stop inadvertantly encouraged one of his soldiers to fire directly at them by the same action. It would be easy to become polarised being here but it is often reassuring to hear Palestians say that they don't dislike or hate Jews it's the Israeli government that they have a problem with (the same with America). I know there will be many here that won't make that distinction but I suspect they would be the more extreme minority. Most people, like the farmers we met at Susya, just want to get on with their lives and looking after their families.

Though I don't condone the actions I read about in the Breaking the Silence booklets I think that I can appreciate how many of the situations may arise. Boredom leads people to creating their own entertainment and a culture of impunity for crimes committed by soldeirs will not help to reduce them. I do think that regularly attacking and disrutping the lives of innnocent people wil make them more likely to become militants if they weren't before. Precisely what the 'war on terror' is achieving. You cannot constantly terrorise a population (like the IDF do) without deeply affecting their pysche for years to come. I have always been amazed at how normal people here turn out and how nice some of the children are knowing some of the things they have witnessed. This is even more the case now I have a greater understanding and awareness of the area.

This is not to say the Palestinians are perfect. Far from it. The infighting between Hamas and Fatah must be music to the ears of the Israeli government. Whilst they squabble over power, money and control the IDF take more of their land. I can't help thinking of the film 'Lawrence of Arabia' when I hear reports about Fatah and Hamas on the news, especially the part when the clans are all arguing after reaching Aquaba and Peter O'Toole says they will remain a 'little people' a 'silly people' if they continue to tear themselves apart. Though the context here isn't the same and the future isn't determined by just the actions of the Palestinians I still think some of the sentiment rings true.

Like people anywhere there are 'good' and 'bad' people. A child today tried to steal my watch and when we go out in a big group we sometimes get stones thrown at us by the children in the street. When I was still at home I read 'Long Way Down' about Boorman and McGregor and they talked about something similar as they rode their bikes through certain villages. Being here has made me think a great deal about how individuals are influenced and shaped by the environment around them. On the first day I was here, whilst trying to sleep off my flight, I was constantly woken by 'explosions' in the street. This has become a daily phenomenon and I don't even notice them anymore. They aren't from the IDF or militants but children playing with fireworks in the street. Children that are regularly deprived of sleep because of incursions and genuine explosions entertain themselves by making loud bangs of their own. I can only guess that this is a power thing, a way of showing that you are someone.

I believe that I can see both sides of this conflict despite being firmly placed on one side. The Palestinians should have a state of their own and the Israeli's should stop stealing their land. Ideally the settlers should be removed from the West Bank though I know this will never happen. Terrorizing the civilian population and collectively punishing them, which is what happens here, is illegal under international law and is of course morally abhorent as well. The Palestinians say that their state exists inside of each of them and I can clearly see this. I doubt an actual state will come about any time soon and am much more pessimistic in this regard than I was before I arrived here.