Frustration

Ok. First things first. What the hell is this:

http://teachingenglishabroad.quebecblogue.com/2009/04/09/andy-in-the-middle-east-the-comedians-mostly-teaching-english-abroad/

It's my blog entry from a few days ago but in a strange, attacked with a thesaurus, unintelligible mess. As if it has been translated from English into another language and then back to English. Why on earth would someone do that? I'm almost used to the unexpected here (will my class turn up, won't they...) but finding this in a search for Project Hope blogs has thrown me somewhat. Especially so considering that the orginial version doesn't appear in any searches! The annoying thing is that though this is largely unreadable it does possess some much better words than my attempt.

Today was quite slow and frustrating to start with. Not much was happening and a few of the comments from my Palestinian friends yesterday were starting to chip away at me. Nablus is supposed to be the centre of Palestinian resistance and as far as I can tell there isn't any. One of my friends remarked that if the IOF put a checkpoint in the centre of Nablus there would soon be people queing up behind it, no questions asked. I know it is very easy for me to make comments like this not having been here when there were tanks on the hills above and deaths everyday but it is still frustrating none the less. I have heard comments before about how some internationals are more Palestinian than the Palestinians and I'm starting to wonder if this is true. (more likely it's easier for us to be idealistic not having to endure the situation every single day of our lives). But is still makes you wonder.

Do people think that the peace process might actually lead to a change in their lives or have they all just given up. If they have it would hardly be surprising considering the enemy they face and the lack of support they receive from other Arab states. I'm aware that this conflict has existed well beyond my limited time of interest but I am getting bored of the constant nothing that seems to happen. The people here are bored as well. There is nothing to do for most people, it is a boring place to be. That's how the Israeli's want it to be. They want the young people to leave Palestine for better lives. Why live in Nablus and wait for Godot when you could go to Saudi or UAE and be happy?

The Friend that took me to Al'Fara on Friday was at work today from 8 in the morning until 7 at night. He earnt himself 40 Shekels, about £6. The cost of living is of course relatively inexpensive comapred to the UK but this is still a paltry amount. This frustrated me as did the large amount of Palestinian security forces that were on the streets tday. As far as I can see they do Israel a favour and subdue the Palestinian people. They are needed to stop the crime that was rampant in the city in the past but they just seem to sit around a lot in their uniforms. As I have mentioned before if the IOF were to enter they would go home. Indeed they would know the IOF were coming days in advance and make sure they were out of the way. I don't know what I expect the people here to do, or if this is just a lull before the cycle I mentioned yesterday explodes back into force, but an occupied people are allowed under international law (though this means little) to resist occupation. The class members yesterday talked as though another intifada would be the end of their days on earth, perhaps this is why they are prepared to be more patient than I am.

The class I had this afternoon was successful and I am enjoying teaching the advanced class. I had them writing joint stories this lesson, where they continue the story from the point the last person left off. Quite egotistically the stories had to begin, 'one day Andy was walking through the old city when...' I had asked for crazy and that was what I got. I had spells cast upon me, married and then divorced a witch, turned into superman, met lots of angels, continually ended up with laser beams for eyes and unfortunately died a lot. Though in the story by the youngest member of the class, who is just 14 with the minimum for the advanced class usually being 18, I did die but woke up to find that it was all a dream. Not sure whether I want to go to sleep tonight or not.

That this place is the same as before does bore me in some ways. This has more to do with my being easily bored than the place itself. The city isn't a novelty any more and is in many ways normal. Like a second home. This is reasurring and disconcerting at the same time. When the place changes it will probably be because of an invasion, "the way home changes with each new bomb" (Handal), which is bad for everyone here and painful for me whether I'm here in body or not. Coming back here a year later than my first visit is like stepping into the same river twice and finding it exactly the same. And this is just as worrying. I see the same people in the same places. All that has changed is that the supermarket doesn't have the small packets of coffee that I used to buy. I'm not sure when I will return to Nablus and I am even less sure if I would like it to be the same when I do.